On Letting Go... Part 1

A Soulful Approach to the Season of Shoulds.

Hello beautiful being, how goes it with you?

I just realised that it’s only the second Saturday of January… yet I already feel like we’ve had a whole month of this year.

Honestly, I feel exhausted!

How about you? How has your transition into this year been so far?

Previously I wrote about how for me, this year is very different from any that have gone before. My first new year knowing I have inattentive ADHD to accompany my other neurosparkly traits. My first year of observing my patterns and responses with a fresh new perspective.

What a gift!

And yet, despite my long-held practice of starting out the year super slooooww, the other thing that’s different about this year is that I already have a Very Busy Brain.

It is quite literally doing my head in!

Normally, I meander my way mindfully into the year, leaning into lassitude and letting go of Shoulds. I take time out in coffee shops, journalling and pondering as I snuggle into my cosy corner and allow myself to dream. I’ve developed an innate ability to ignore the prevalent narrative about making this year YOUR year, as I sit softly with what really wants to come through.

This has been a privilege and gift gratefully received from the not-so-joyful gift of being childless by circumstance.

"Life is a difficult game. You can win only by retaining your birthright to be a person. And to retain this right, you will have to be willing to take the social or external risks involved in ignoring pressures to do things the way others say they should be done."

~ A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

Leaning Into Nature’s Flow

I’ve been able to take my time feeling into the new year themes, intentions, word-for-the-year and fresh start vibe for years, because nobody but me was putting pressure on myself.

I was a solopreneur with a 1-to-1 Shiatsu and Craniosacral Therapy practice that was always quieter in January. I had evening yoga and Qoya classes that half the group cancelled on if I tried to start it at a time of year when we’re more drawn to stay indoors.

I learned early on in my Traditional Chinese Medicine training that leaning into seasonal, soulful living was a more nature-aligned approach to the silly season.

Former Helen knew how to take it easy in winter!!

When it’s cold, quiet and wet outside and the world is shouting at you to DO, nature shows you the way to BE.

And yet, here I am, feeling my way into the new year with a brain that’s busier than a New York subway at rush hour.

I do NOT like it!!

It feels wrong after years of embodying a seasonal, soulful, slow start to the Season of Shoulds.

My body feels misaligned because I’m out of alignment. No matter how much yoga, Qoya, Chi Gung or gym work I do, this is not a physical misalignment or stuckness that will be solved by movement. It’s a call from my body to stop, because I have dreaming to do, a lot of new information to integrate and life shit stuff to navigate.

The challenge is being embodied enough to notice, being self-loving enough to ignore the calls from the world to get busy. And being disciplined enough to do life differently, so I can honour the call to rest.

I’ve learned the hard way is that the body knows long before the mind does. If you ignore the signs that you’re misaligned, it always ends in tears!

Slow down and soften

There is a LOT of chatter right now in my brain. And in the outside world.

I don’t do well with chatter.

My sensitive brain is acutely aware of ALL noises, including the noise in my head.

It feels a lot less soulful than usual! I remember how delicious it felt when I could so much more easily create calm from chaos. How the intuitive leaning toward shaping my environment to nourish my whole being supported me well up to this stage of life.

Not my actual office… thankfully!

Over the last two decades, what I now know as my neurosparkly brain, has been gently held and mindfully managed through four non-negotiable daily practices I call the 4 M’s. They calmed my mind monkeys and helped me get what matters done, without hustle or overwhelm.

Morning pages, movement, meditation, and mantras. Soulfully shaped around Moonology.

Because alliteration. 😉

When I created these rituals, I unknowingly stumbled across the exact soul medicine I needed for myself and for those I served. It felt like magic and helped me to lean into the flow.

I’ll be honest though, they’re not really working for me right now.

I sense I might not be alone. You too?

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Soulful, slow ways to set intentions for your year

So many competing commitments and desires.

Swirling in the ether and dancing around each other whilst your body wants to hibernate, your soul wants to envision and your brain wants to play.

The push/pull between what is, what you want and what you HAVE to do. Knowing the old way doesn’t work, but that the new way hasn’t presented itself to you… yet.

Accompanied by the backdrop of collective exhaustion from a tumultuous period that has brought us huge grief, shown us our shadows, and launched us headlong into the emerging new paradigm. No wonder so many of us feel exhausted, regardless of whether you have a neurosparkly brain.

It may well be the dawning of the divine feminine rising, where magical souls like you and I get to speak our truth without fear of being burned, but for our human nervous systems, it’s a LOT.

We can’t just get up and carry on!

No matter how magical we are 🤩

Embrace the Three S’s For A Soulful Start to the Year

So what to do in a world that wants you to ‘buck up’ and start yesterday?

Rather than focus on the endless battle between doing/being and shoulds/musts, how would it feel to consider that there might be a way to sit in the middle?

There’s a delightful concept I was introduced to in my Cranio-Sacral Therapy training known as the still-point. The still-point is a pausing place, brought about by the temporary cessation of the flowing ebb and tide of the cranio-sacral system. When you experience a still-point, it’s as though time is suspended.

It’s a surreal, evocative, potent and moving moment where you become one with all that is, experiencing profound peace.

The still-point is not reached by doing.

It arises by holding space and being with what is, without judgment or attempts to fix. By being patient and allowing the body’s innate intelligence to adjust, so that it can restore the nervous system and return to homeostasis.

Nature shows you the way. You can embrace a soulful, self-kind approach that allows you to sit with the swirling of your brain and be the quiet in the storm, in a way that allows for both. Because neither are right or wrong.

• Slow down

• Soften

• Surrender

Offer your nervous system the gift of being with what is by letting go of the shoulds as you gently and consciously breathe. Allow them to swirl if they want to. Like leaves on a tree, they will land where they will without your watching.

Lean into the resist-dance by gently inviting it to share what it’s worried about. Maybe there’s part of you that’s worried about doing something wrong, being judged or over-commiting. Listen and soften as you do.

Invite your inner child to doodle and daydream with you when you have a pocket of peace. You don’t need hours or a huge expanse of uninterrupted time. As a neurosparkly soul with time blindness, I use to think I did. Now I have to spin All The Plates of my life (badly!), I create small pockets of time using brainwave music and a timer!

Be kind, be compassionate, release.

There is no countdown timer. You are not a machine.

Slow down. Soften. Surrender.

This is not another should.

This is an invitation from my heart to yours, based upon what I know is helping me right now. Do with it what you will. Your intuition will guide you.

You’ve got this lovely soul. As have we all.

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In part two, I’ll share the poem I wrote that inspired this post. The post ended up being VERY different to the one I first envisioned!

Yes I know it’s probably 2 blogs in one. Why use 100 words when I can use 500? #apparentlyitsanADHDthing

You might also like this post from my dear magical friend Jennifer, inspired by a conversation we had where I likened my swirling ideas to being a bit like being in a Sweetie Shop!

I would love to know how the three S’s sits with you should you have a pocket of peace to share below. Go gently and see you soon xx