Productivity Does Not Equal Worth

How to lovingly let go of old shoulds and stories about self-worth

Hello you wise wonderful being,

How goes it with you today?

I’m late posting today because I’m prepping for an online talk I’m doing tomorrow, for the fabulous folks at The Hamblin Centre.

The talk is on a subject I hold dear. One I start every single course I’ve ever created with. One I come back to time and time again. Because in my experience, it’s the foundation for everything that follows.

This subject is also something I’ve struggled with most in life and continue to explore and play with on a daily basis. I wrote about it in my first book, The Magical Unfolding and you won’t be surprised to learn that it appears frequently in my upcoming book, The Midlife Awakening.

⬆️ (ignore the fact both these link to ‘former Helen’s world’ - the midlife awakening has shifted my name AND my life!)

The Vital Role of Self-Worth and How to Claim It

As I prepare to share my thoughts on the above topic, an unforeseen bonus has been that alongside indulging my curiosity, I’ve unexpectedly found myself embodying my self-worth in new ways.

I am learning to lovingly lean into the fact that I am a Last Minute Mary.

When it comes to putting together offerings of any kind, I always let all the ideas percolate in the ether first. They swirl around me for days before I actually sit down and invite them to share themselves with me.

I’ve always fought and judged this process to some degree, despite cognitively knowing better.

It’s caused me a lot of stress, impacts my sleep, and frustrates me.

Despite this, I’ve never been able to corral my brain into doing anything before a deadline.

How Not To Do The Thing?!

I have so many memories of all the ways I’ve been told by various people that my last-minute approach is not ok.

Little Helen was always scrabbling at the last minute to Do The Thing and I was NOT proud of this trait. I crammed for exams the night before and forgot everything soon afterward. I handed in my Radiography degree dissertation 1 minute before the deadline… and still somehow got a 2:1.

In a science subject whilst working as a student Radiographer and doing on-calls… what the heck!!

Because my ‘approach’ is opposite to the way productivity experts say you should approach goals, my Last-Minute Mary tendencies led me to conclude that I was in the wrong.

Failing and falling behind in some way when it comes to my creative process and therefore not good enough.

As a result, I’ve studied almost every approach to productivity and goal-setting out there. Each time starting out with high hopes, only to have them disappear shamefaced soon after.

Today, however, thanks to an invitation from the lovely Glo at Hamblin Vision to share my stance on self-worth, I’m learning to be ok with my way of doing things.

Embracing My Enoughness (Again)

My approach may cause me stress, but thanks to my later-life ADHD diagnosis, I now know that my magical neurosparkly brain knows no other way.

Trying to force it into doing anything other than going with its natural flow is like trying to corral an unwieldy herd of wild horses into heading somewhere they do NOT want to go.

And so, I am learning to lovingly let old stories and Shoulds go.

I no longer need to try and work in any other way than the one that most delights my brain.

On Thursday, feeling the weight of Several Shoulds that are part of my reality right now, I decided that rather than try to force myself to create content for a training I’m running for the charity I work for part-time, I would instead play truant.

I did not Do The Thing. And even though in the old definition this meant I was not ‘productive’, my self-worth was not affected!

I went to the gym early in the morning to boost my brain and shift stuckness. But on the way back, rather than turn into my road fired up and ready to start creating content, I drove straight past, following my soul’s whispers to the sea.

I shared a post about this later that day on Instagram.

The responses are still coming in. (I’ll respond over the weekend if you’ve commented since I posted!).

It seems I’m not the only one currently recalibrating, as we question the subtle ways that productivity beliefs have slowly eroded our sense of self-worth.

Even those of us who thought we were embracing #lesshustlemoreflow a very long time ago 🙋🏼‍♀️ 🙈

Permission to Play

As a direct result of the ongoing process of finding peace with my diagnosis and these reflections on worth, I’m learning to compassionately Embrace my Enoughness in new, softer ways:

• Gently, lovingly, tenderly.

• Finding ways to play, gamify and explore.

• Lovingly letting old paradigm productivity ‘rules’ go.

• Softening. Again and again.

Accepting and allowing my process to be as it is, whilst staying open to new discoveries that may support me.

I am adjusting and recalibrating to an entirely new, loving way of perceiving myself. Learning to listen better to Little Helen and to my beautiful, multi-passionate, dopamine-seeking, low-executive-functioning brain.

What matters most will get done. With love, not forcing or pushing.

What doesn’t get done doesn’t matter.

I believe that learning to embrace your enoughness opens the doorway to a life in which you can more freely flourish and flow.

Even if the journey takes an entire lifetime…

Which it undoubtedly will.

I hope you’re learning gentler ways too. Not as a should, but as a loving gesture to honour the journey of little you in this lifetime.

You Are Enough. You always were and always will be.

Thank you for being part of my world 💗💗💗

Feel free to share your realisations and reflections below if you want to add your voice to the conversation xx

ps thanks Glo, for the soul spark xx

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The above quote appeared on Insight Timer the day after I played truant from my Shoulds 🪄