Thank you for speaking directly to my soul. Even though I'm an overplanner, I still find I'm driven by deadlines and getting it done by the last minute. I'm one of those that just tweaks and tweaks and tweaks ... I've learned to be softer with that part of me. I've learned to be gentler with the perfectionist in me.l (hey Virgo Rising, I love your devotion to your craft but my goodness, let that typo goooooo...) Learning to trust my process and accepting that there will be niggles.
I love the way you're learning to be softer and more gentle with your inner perfectionist. For what it's worth, I have LOVED every offering of yours I've been graced with 💗
I wonder how it would feel to maybe invite your Virgo Rising part to have three passes, after which she has to yield and go play with something else?
I am totally willing to try that 3-pass suggestion. Thank you. With that said, I've definitely noticed it when I'm over tweaking something so I walk away and do something else. The thing about having staying power is that at times I just don't know when to say that's enough now. Thank you for this! :)
Another Last Minute Mary here. I've come to really enjoy the long, looooooong periods of thinking about things before I do them at the deadline. My partner thinks I just sit down and write a newsletter in 20 minutes and it's amazing. Er, no. I may type it out in 20 minutes but I'll have been letting it swirl around my head for days and days, until it solidifies into actual words that become too loud to hold in my head.
Weirdly, I'm super-punctual for appointments and the like. Always first. Always waiting because I'm so early. Perhaps because other people are involved in those scenarios and I'm programmed not to be the weak link!
Such great reflections here Jo - thank you for being willing to share and I love that you've grown to enjoy that process 😍 I relate to the looooooooong periods of thinking and love that observation about your partner! It's almost as if your thoughts have to ijggle and wiggle their way to the front and so it's about allowing them to battle it out, rather than trying to control them.
Maybe when they reach the front, they start shouting... hence the too loud to hold in your head (again I relate!)
Oh my goodness yes. Showers are like a magical vortex. I like to imagine the water raining down little sparks of inspiration if I'm feeling a bit blocked!
Years ago I had to accept that my ‘modus operandi’ was always always going to be last minute - like you, I percolate long and hard and then get the job done in the nick of time... I read this once and it stuck - ‘Deadlines are like buses, to be caught by the skin of one’s teeth...’ xxx
Jo I love that so much, thank you for sharing. Have you found any ways to manage any associated stress that comes from that? Or are you totally at peace with it? I realised a couple of weeks ago that I was still subconsciously trying to 'manage' my brain. Not any more! Also, guess who always caught buses by the skin of her teeth ?!!
Not so much trains though. When I used to commute I would far rather wait for train than get on a rammed one and stand up for an hour 🤣
Good question! I think that the more I accepted that this is the way I work, the more I was able to trust myself and the process… more trust seems to mean less stress but that doesn’t mean I always like it or don’t get frustrated at times! xx
Beautiful response - I was tuning into trust so love that you offered that. Thank you. I've realised that my brain always comes through for me as long as I get out of its way. The game I'm playing now is trusting this xx
Hello Beth and thanks for sharing your thoughts here 🤩 Seems you're in good company, even if you're not quite Last Minute Mary! I'm curious about the deadline thing... if you have another moment to share at some point, I'd love to know how your focus shifts with a deadline. For example, is there work involved in making your brain focus at this point, or does it happen automagically?!
I get very laser focused on activities involving self-imposed deadlines on (Substack - Posting reviews on Mon, Thurs, for example) and in my day job as well with tasks. Often times when I know someone is waiting on me for something or I've committed a delivery date to someone, this ups the stakes for me. I think this is also related to the fact that one of my core values is being reliable so I tend to be very oriented this way in personal and professional connections. Putting together the pieces parts of the tasks has always been a challenge and why I cringe from things like "event management."
Yes! We are each and all enough and our ways of operating and functioning are enough! It took me too many years to finally just embrace who I am and lean into my own patterns of doing and being. I have finally learned to trust myself and love myself in spite of those areas that don't fit the "expected" mold.
Thank you for speaking directly to my soul. Even though I'm an overplanner, I still find I'm driven by deadlines and getting it done by the last minute. I'm one of those that just tweaks and tweaks and tweaks ... I've learned to be softer with that part of me. I've learned to be gentler with the perfectionist in me.l (hey Virgo Rising, I love your devotion to your craft but my goodness, let that typo goooooo...) Learning to trust my process and accepting that there will be niggles.
I love the way you're learning to be softer and more gentle with your inner perfectionist. For what it's worth, I have LOVED every offering of yours I've been graced with 💗
I wonder how it would feel to maybe invite your Virgo Rising part to have three passes, after which she has to yield and go play with something else?
I am totally willing to try that 3-pass suggestion. Thank you. With that said, I've definitely noticed it when I'm over tweaking something so I walk away and do something else. The thing about having staying power is that at times I just don't know when to say that's enough now. Thank you for this! :)
Another Last Minute Mary here. I've come to really enjoy the long, looooooong periods of thinking about things before I do them at the deadline. My partner thinks I just sit down and write a newsletter in 20 minutes and it's amazing. Er, no. I may type it out in 20 minutes but I'll have been letting it swirl around my head for days and days, until it solidifies into actual words that become too loud to hold in my head.
Weirdly, I'm super-punctual for appointments and the like. Always first. Always waiting because I'm so early. Perhaps because other people are involved in those scenarios and I'm programmed not to be the weak link!
Such great reflections here Jo - thank you for being willing to share and I love that you've grown to enjoy that process 😍 I relate to the looooooooong periods of thinking and love that observation about your partner! It's almost as if your thoughts have to ijggle and wiggle their way to the front and so it's about allowing them to battle it out, rather than trying to control them.
Maybe when they reach the front, they start shouting... hence the too loud to hold in your head (again I relate!)
I hear you Jo. Another percolator here. I find showers the best places to allow stuff percolate. That's where the magic happens haha
Oh my goodness yes. Showers are like a magical vortex. I like to imagine the water raining down little sparks of inspiration if I'm feeling a bit blocked!
Love that. Excuse me while I spend 5 minutes in my magical vortex :)
Years ago I had to accept that my ‘modus operandi’ was always always going to be last minute - like you, I percolate long and hard and then get the job done in the nick of time... I read this once and it stuck - ‘Deadlines are like buses, to be caught by the skin of one’s teeth...’ xxx
Jo I love that so much, thank you for sharing. Have you found any ways to manage any associated stress that comes from that? Or are you totally at peace with it? I realised a couple of weeks ago that I was still subconsciously trying to 'manage' my brain. Not any more! Also, guess who always caught buses by the skin of her teeth ?!!
Not so much trains though. When I used to commute I would far rather wait for train than get on a rammed one and stand up for an hour 🤣
Good question! I think that the more I accepted that this is the way I work, the more I was able to trust myself and the process… more trust seems to mean less stress but that doesn’t mean I always like it or don’t get frustrated at times! xx
Beautiful response - I was tuning into trust so love that you offered that. Thank you. I've realised that my brain always comes through for me as long as I get out of its way. The game I'm playing now is trusting this xx
I hear you on the “last minute Mary” - not sure if that’s me entirely but deadlines really focus me and I need them!
Hello Beth and thanks for sharing your thoughts here 🤩 Seems you're in good company, even if you're not quite Last Minute Mary! I'm curious about the deadline thing... if you have another moment to share at some point, I'd love to know how your focus shifts with a deadline. For example, is there work involved in making your brain focus at this point, or does it happen automagically?!
I get very laser focused on activities involving self-imposed deadlines on (Substack - Posting reviews on Mon, Thurs, for example) and in my day job as well with tasks. Often times when I know someone is waiting on me for something or I've committed a delivery date to someone, this ups the stakes for me. I think this is also related to the fact that one of my core values is being reliable so I tend to be very oriented this way in personal and professional connections. Putting together the pieces parts of the tasks has always been a challenge and why I cringe from things like "event management."
Yes! We are each and all enough and our ways of operating and functioning are enough! It took me too many years to finally just embrace who I am and lean into my own patterns of doing and being. I have finally learned to trust myself and love myself in spite of those areas that don't fit the "expected" mold.